Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Am I alone? - Abandonment

I'm struggling with abandonment lately. Have either of my parents left? No, but they are always working and don't have time for me anymore.

My heart yearned for a forever and always. But for some reason, guys either avoid or leave me. Two guys left me. The first? He used me for over a year and then cheated on me. All of the sudden, he was gone. The second left because he no longer loved me, and wasn't ready for commitment yet. Was I not good enough?

To top off these guys leaving me, my "friends" have abandoned me too. I moved, so I was bound to lose some. I was ready for that. What I wasn't ready for? All of them mocking me and all of them laughing at me. Not okay, and not normal. The first guy and his new girl started a "hate on Bethany" movement. I was laughed and mocked at. My personal messages were shared around and laughed at. Twitter was filled with hate for me. No one stood up for me.

When the second guy left, so did all of my new "friends" I met through him. Now? I'm alone.

Where are you God? Have you forsaken me? Have you abandoned me too? Am I completely alone?

"Never will I leave you,
Never will I forsake you."
-Hebrews 13:5


"And surely I am with you always,
to the very end of the age."
-Matthew 28:20


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